How to Live a Happy Life

by Clifford Piel

Table of Contents

Table of Contents
parts: 1, 2, 3

conclusion

“Hello, friends, my name is Doctor Hans Varrstein,” the kid in the lab coat began. “I welcome you to Life Renewal Corporation’s divinectomy procedure.” His words did not sound like those of a teenager, more of an educated man who had lived a long life.

“Before we begin, introductions must be made. This is Norman Crane, our client.” He gestured toward the old man on the floor. He then gestured toward the kid strapped on the table. “And here we have Donnie Henderson.” Donnie continued to struggle against his restraints. “Despite his parent’s best efforts and positive rehabilitation services, Donnie has continued to choose a life of delinquency. Studies show his behavior will escalate, and prison will be his only future.”

He paused, allowing the onlookers to absorb his words. “However, we’re going to change that by allowing Norman to assume Donnie’s physical being by way of transmigration conversion, thereby providing this otherwise handsome and healthy young body a life of purpose and productivity.”

Varrstein moved to the console, where he flipped switches. Then he left the room, the door closing behind him. The main lights cut out, and everything briefly went dark. The glass cylinder in the center of the room lit up with a bright white light followed by the two glass domes. The whirring of motors filled the lab as the cylinder filled with a luminescent, thick and somewhat green-tinted liquid. Once the cylinder was full, the same substance crept through the tubes that connected to the domes housing Donnie and the old man.

Jeremy watched Donnie thrash violently against his restraints as the substance crept higher, devouring his body. The old man barely struggled before he stopped moving altogether. After what felt like excruciating minutes, Donnie’s battle ended. Once both domes were completely filled with the substance, the motors went silent.

They killed him!

A beat later, a yellow glow lifted from Donnie’s body. It looked just like Donnie.

Jeremy could only whisper, “Holy...”

The glowing replica of Donnie stood and looked down, as if studying his body on the table. He then turned and pressed his hands against the glass. Looking out, his eyes sparkled like tiny stars. He spun around suddenly, backing up against the glass as a beam of light locked onto him. He lunged forward, but it looked forced. He pulled back again, leaning against the glass. His spirit blurred as he lurched again.

Once he came back into focus, Donnie’s spirit hands grasped at the wall, at his physical body, at the table, at anything he might be able to get hold of. Every attempt to remain near his body became more futile as his soul rose up, twisting and compressing to fit into the flexible tube above. His aura slithered through the hose, dropping him into the center cylinder. There, Donnie’s spirit reformed to look just like himself once again. He silently yelled and pounded his fists against the glass while looking at his physical body lying motionless under the dome.

What the...? I have to help him! Jeremy wanted to stop the madness, wanted to save Donnie, but what could he possibly do? Movement within the old man’s encasement diverted his attention. A red glow floated near the tube leading out of Norman’s chamber. His spirit looked old and frail, just like his dying body.

Norman’s spirit traveled willingly into the tube that connected to the chamber containing Donnie’s body. As the soul eased out the other end, a bright flash followed and the red glow vanished. Another motor kicked on, and the liquid inside the tank drained through the bottom.

The laboratory lights snapped back on. Donnie’s spirit hands pressed on the sides of his prison as he watched the fluid finish draining. The motor silenced again and the latches released, followed by a hiss as the mechanical arm lifted the dome.

The two technicians returned and gently slid a tube down Donnie’s throat, suctioning out the liquid from his lungs. They then removed the wires and straps from Donnie’s body.

The new “Donnie Henderson” stood up with some effort, coughing and breathing heavily. He smiled awkwardly under his new skin as he stumbled toward his previous, older self. After a thoughtful glance at his own dead body, the new Donnie hit a switch on the side of the dome. As if an explosive had been used, flesh and blood swirled within the green substance. Everything in the container drained through the floor, leaving no sign of the elderly man he had once been.

Donnie’s soul was still watching with those sparkling eyes from the center cylinder, looking sadly at his hijacked body. Norman slowly approached him, and he lifted a hand in what appeared to be an awkward salute. “I will make your parents proud,” he said and tapped another switch. The irritating blast of the motor clawed at Jeremy’s own soul as the liquid in the cylinder, along with Donnie’s spirit, swirled and flushed through the floor.

Dr. Varrstein re-entered the lab to an eerie silence. He shook hands with his latest subject. “Donnie, you turned your life around. You will do great things and make your parents proud.”

“Thank you for this opportunity,” the new Donnie said, his voice raspy and labored. “I will not let anyone down.” He acknowledged the crowd with a wave before he hobbled out of the lab without help, already learning how to control his new flesh.

Dr. Varrstein faced the audience. “What you just witnessed is no miracle. Rather, it is a gift from Mother Earth. Norman Crane has pledged his allegiance, and he will go on and live a vibrant and productive life working for us in his new, youthful body.

“The soul of Donnie Henderson will now serve mankind by helping to power our Transmigration Energy Conversion Chamber, the TECC, which is the cleanest running power plant in the world. No more fossil fuels. No more burning oil and no more destruction of our planet,” he paused, as if contemplating.

“But don’t be fooled,” he went on; “we are far from our goals. We need help to reverse global warming, which means we must cut the world’s population in half, and then in half again and again. We are already building more power plants around the world and we will need personnel to man those stations. Those who serve will be rewarded with eternal life while billions of souls, those natural born energy gifts from our lovely planet, will power our new world.

“But it will take time. It could be twenty years or fifty years. Whatever it takes. The divinectomy process will ensure that each and every person in this room and in our organization will see our collective vision become a reality because we will all become immortal... and we will bring Mother Earth back to her beauty, to a time before mankind destroyed her.” Varrstein abruptly stopped, studying his audience intently.

“In order to reduce the number of people in this world without destroying existing life inhumanely,” he continued, “we need to reduce reproduction drastically. We have recently introduced a new chemical in the water supplies around the globe. Already people are becoming sterile. But do not fear. Those of us in the room are immune. Once we inhabit our new bodies, we will be given the antidote and we will breed our own society where we can pick and choose which child we will become for our next life cycle.”

He spread his arms wide and smiled graciously at his audience. “In conclusion, tomorrow is a big day. You have all had ample time to study the case folders of your new lives to come. So take the time this evening to celebrate your accomplishments. We have food and drink and dance, so enjoy. Tomorrow you will partake in the biggest divinectomy day yet. You will all be reborn.”

He left the lab while those in attendance stood and applauded before also filing out.

If all of these people are being reborn, that means there are just as many victims. You need to get out of here and let someone know what’s going on.

Jeremy backtracked out of his hiding place and came upon the main corridor where the audience was passing through, talking excitedly about what they had just witnessed and what was yet to come.

No time to waste. Jeremy slipped in with the crowd unnoticed. He worked his way ahead until he found the room where the uniforms were stored. He immediately went to his planned escape hatch, nauseated by the stench and what that meant. No choice here. Suck it up, man.

Without another thought, he struggled his way down through the hole, slipping in feces the moment his feet touched the ground. Unable to maintain his footing, Jeremy crashed down onto his side. Pain radiated through his body, but he pushed himself up to find his footing again, barely staying upright. He was now covered in urine and feces.

It was dark underground with a periodic glimmer of light from above. The light came from open toilet lids. It reeked like a sewer should, and he continued to slip, struggling to keep his footing. I am literally walking on crap and toilet paper. Disgusting! At least there was a constant stream of slow flowing water, so he followed the direction of the flow.

It was a miserable experience that went on for what felt like miles, but was really no more than a quarter mile before the sewer stream was joined by three other streams that converged into a huge pool of more sewage muck. On the other side of the pool was a much cleaner stream that headed toward daylight, to the outside world.

He dropped into the cesspool and he gasped at how cold the sludge was. He clamped his mouth shut and breathed only when he absolutely had to. He made it across with three short breaths and managed to climb his way back out on sheer will alone. He navigated the moss-covered path carefully, but just as he was about to enter the cleaner stream, his feet slipped out from underneath him and his head hit a rock with a mind-jarring blow.

Standing above him were two figures dressed in black.

* * *

Jeremy awoke in a white room. He was lying on his back on a metal table, and two people in white baggy suits and tinted face shields stood over him.

He tried to get up, but he could not move. “What’s going on?” he demanded. “Where I am? What are you doing to me?” You know what they’re going to do.

His breaths were getting harder to come by as his heart raced and his core temperature rose. Not the time for a panic attack!

The pair working over him strapped down his arms and legs before they tightly secured a strap around his forehead. They attached electrodes and wires. Just before they exited the lab, one technician slowly turned back around. “I’ll see you at home, darling.”

“Wha...?” he said as the truth hit him.

Annalise lifted her face shield. “Can’t wait for you to come home as a much different, much happier person. We can now prove to our loved ones that the Life Renewal Corporation works. You and I are going to be the happiest couple in town,” she finished with a wide, honest smile.

“Annalise... no. Wait!”

“Why, Jeremy? You’re finally getting what you want... death. It’s just too bad that dying isn’t going to be the end for you.”

She dropped her face shield back in place, and the glass dome above him lowered and sealed with a vacuum hiss. His chamber began to fill with the thick liquid, and he held his breath as long as he could. As the substance climbed higher in the chamber, all Jeremy could do was contemplate the irony of his situation. I’ve wished for death my entire life, but now I’m not ready to die.

His lungs now burning, Jeremy was forced to inhale and he coughed and sputtered as the liquid began to invade his lungs and nasal cavities. He shook and fought against his restraints but to no avail. Less than a minute later, he lost the battle.

A feisty green glow that was his spirit soon emerged from his body. Jeremy had little time to contemplate his new condition before a beam of light appeared next to his spirit self. Jeremy felt an odd pulling sensation emanating from the light just as his soul was sucked through the tube above and expelled him into the center tank.

Staring out of the tank, he watched in horror as the big blue spirit he thought he recognized pass through another tube and into the chamber where Jeremy’s body lay. An electrical surge charged through the dome, and the other soul disappeared. Jeremy continued to watch as all the liquid quickly drained from the dome encasing his body.

The technician inhabiting his wife’s body soon released the new Jeremy from the table. New Jeremy stood naked on unsteady legs and went to the other dome that was still closed. Jeremy’s spirit self leered at the imposter taking refuge in his body before looking at the man lying within the dome. Spirit Jeremy could now see it was that of a man, perhaps in his early sixties, a man who weighed over three hundred pounds. Mauricio? You stole my body?

“I’m as light as a feather,” Mauricio marveled with an enormous smile as he ran his hands down one new arm and then the other. He touched his new penis. “Now this I can work with,” he said with a mischievous grin. He touched his new stomach and smiled some more. “I finally did it,” he said. “I lost all the weight I ever wanted to lose.”

He hit a button and Mauricio’s old body disintegrated before swirling and washing away. He then went to the glass cylinder in the center of the room. He looked at the spirit of Jeremy and put his new hand to the glass. “No more gas station and pizzas for me, buddy. I’ll be in charge of security now. That’s why they recruited me, because of my SEAL training. I finally get to do what I was meant to do... so thank you. Consider this payment for all that candy you stole at work. But no worries, I will take great care of us. You have my word.” He then hit the switch and Jeremy’s soul drained away.

* * *

Jeremy’s and Annalise’s souls were reunited within the TECC. Other than being wired to power the entire facility, the container was similar to a giant fish aquarium filled with millions of gallons of the same green-tinted gel they had all drowned in to get there.

There was no air and no hot or cold. And although they lived within the liquid, their souls could still talk and they could float. The once unhappy couple stayed close to one another, holding onto the other as they never had done when they were alive. They were with hundreds of other souls, all of them robbed of their youth and lives, and they were all trapped, unable to move on to their next life.

One such soul looked familiar. It took a moment for Jeremy to make out who the soul was and why he knew him. “You’re that crazy scientist,” he blurted.

“Actually that scientist stole my body. He was some nutbag Nazi who experimented with this crap even before World War Two. By the way, my name is Paul.”

“How do we get out of here, Paul?”

“We don’t. Some sort of barrier keeps us locked in.”

“Then what are we supposed to do here?” Annalise asked, concern filling her voice.

“Well, souls don’t eat or sleep. The most excitement we have is when a new soul shows up. And that is starting to happen all the time. Oh, and every hour or so, something happens and you wish you were just bored again.”

“What do you mean? What happens?” Jeremy asked.

A surge of electrical current blasted through the tank. Annalise grabbed Jeremy as a searing jolt shocked everyone, a pain so excruciating that Jeremy’s spirit muscles tightened like an entire body cramp, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. The jolt lasted less than a minute, but it was enough to drain him of every ounce of energy he had.

He still held Annalise because he lacked the strength to let go. Minutes passed before the lingering effects began to wear off, and he realized the wife who never truly loved him was clinging to him, holding him as she never had before.

“They take our energy to power their world,” Paul gasped, interrupting his thoughts. “We’re spirits, so they can’t kill us, but we suffer, all day, every day. It doesn’t take long for us to replenish our energy and they know it. They’ve been perfecting this for decades. Within an hour. they’ll do it again. Welcome to hell.”

Jeremy realized his life hadn’t been so bad after all.

* * *

New Jeremy and new Annalise really loved one another. Hard knocks from their previous lives had taught them well. No longer plagued with depression, their “families” were impressed how well the program worked for them both. Annalise soon became pregnant while an unexplained virus was causing men and women around the world to become sterile. Many others were becoming ill. The population was already dying at a faster rate than normal and soon would begin to diminish at an accelerated rate.

Despite the deterioration of the world around them, new Jeremy and Annalise felt they were the happiest couple alive.