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To Die Like a Man

by Alcuin Fromm

Table of Contents
Table of Contents
parts: 1, 2, 3, 4

conclusion


Raille cut the comm link without a further word, set a new course and engaged the engines. He and Alloryio were pressed into their seats as the Callia Mae accelerated and made a broad, sweeping curve. After a few moments, the ship reached her maximum velocity and zero-gravity returned. Raille slowly unhooked his restraining belt. Alloryio was motionless. When the move came, Raille was as ready as he could have been.

Alloryio’s foot was set against the wall of the cockpit. Pushing off in a sudden burst, he covered the distance between himself and Raille in a split second. Raille turned his attention towards Alloryio’s left fist coming towards his face. Reaching out with both his hands, Raille caught the blow before it landed. The force of the movement lifted him out of his seat, and both men sailed towards the side of the cockpit.

The real attack came from Alloryio’s right hand, which held a small knife from the mess. Before the men collided against the instrument panel, Alloryio swung the knife towards Raille who could only twist his body to shield his face and throw out his elbows in an attempt to divert Alloryio’s arm. Raille struck the wall, shoulder first, and the men tangled together. The knife did not find his throat, but swept across the back of Raille’s head.

Raille yelled, and droplets of blood began to float into the air. Twisting back to face Alloryio, Raille released the left fist and reached out for the right hand. Alloryio took a new approach. Letting go of the knife, he darted his arms under Raille’s arms, grabbed him by the flight suit collar, and smashed him back up against the console panel, dazing him. Two quick blows to the face followed, forcing Raille to squeeze his eyes shut.

Alloryio dragged him to the center of the cockpit and shoved off the Captain’s seat into the central hub, pushing Raille in front of him. Raille swung his arms about blindly, but Alloryio held him from behind, keeping him an arm’s length away. In midair there was nothing to hold or use to alter their trajectory.

They sailed across the open space of the central hub towards the inner door of the airlock. Raille held his arms forward and grabbed hold of the edge of the airlock door to prevent an impact. But as soon as their forward motion stopped, Alloryio, still clutching Raille from behind, slammed his head against the wall.

The edges of Raille’s vision began to darken. He heard the hissing sound of the inner airlock door opening and felt himself spinning forward. Raille shook his head to clear his vision only a moment before he struck the intermediate door of the airlock.

Alloryio shut the inner door, and Raille was trapped. It took Raille a moment to fully realize the situation. He pushed off the intermediate door and floated back to the inner door. It was already bolted. His command codes would have no effect on the door as long as the physical bolt was in place. Through the small window he watched Alloryio disappear into the cockpit. The cockpit door slid shut, and he never saw Alloryio again.

Yellow warning lights began flashing in the airlock. Raille knew what that meant. He wasted no time in putting on gloves, a helmet and an oxygen pack. Drops of blood from the cut in his head floated around his helmet and splattered against the inside of the face shield. Raille was in such a panic that he did not notice the gash. He activated the suit’s communication link and patched into the onboard speakers.

“Alloryio, you traitor, what are you doing!?”

There was a tired sigh. “Captain,” said Alloryio, “this is not personal. Don’t think that I have anything against you. You are a very good man. But you are a fool. I guess that’s already better than Uunstet who was just a fool. You would have gotten your share. Wistill gave you every chance, but you made your choice.”

Static crackled as another channel was opened. “Wistill, this is the first mate. You still there?”

“What on the Five Moons is going on?”

“I’m in control of the ship. I’m sending you the rendezvous coordinates. I just need to take care of one thing first.”

The intermediate door of the airlock slid open, and the yellow warning lights turned red. Raille rechecked his suit and braced himself, facing the outer door.

“You don’t have to do this, Alloryio,” he said with a trembling voice. “There’s still a way to—”

He heard a distinct click in his helmet from the cockpit cutting the comm channel. The outer airlock door opened. Raille felt as if millions of invisible ropes, tied to every cell in his body, all pulled him forward with tremendous force at the same time. His helmet barely missed striking the upper edge of the outer door as he rocketed through it and out into space.

“There,” said Alloryio. “Wistill, commence rendezvous maneuvers.”

Raille was in utter stillness. There was no stationary reference to measure his movement, giving the impression of perfect immobility. He had left the ship along a straight vector, neither rotating nor turning. The stars were motionless. There was no change or alteration in anything. Only the sound of his quick, ragged breathing and an occasional pop of static from his helmet intercom marked any disturbance in the tranquility.

Eventually his breathing slowed to normal. He gaped at the seeming infinitude of stars, each only the tiniest point of light, but together becoming a wall of illumination.

He checked his comm and kept hailing both ships, but neither accepted his signal. He had not thought to attach a jet-pack, thus there was no way to change his unbroken, forward motion. There was no return. No one was going to save him.

The face of his wife flashed before his eyes, then his daughter. He was bombarded by memories of those whom he would never see again. He imagined his daughter, grown into a beautiful, young lady, beaming with love and joy next to her husband. Then she had her own daughter, Raille’s granddaughter, and they smiled at him. But their smiles disappeared and they became mournful for the father and grandfather that had never returned from a routine mining haul from a meaningless asteroid.

Raille began to weep.

Tortured, pitiful minutes went by before a gradual, dawning calm returned. The sublime beauty of the stars and their unfathomable innumerability drew his attention away from sadness and loss. He thought of that night so long ago watching those same stars along the shore of Lake Morsh. He thought of his grandfather and ceased to feel alone. He was part of the universe, part of its story. And he had played his part correctly. Someone had made all that he saw and all that he was, and he was going to return to that someone. A peace gradually settled on him, and he began to speak in his heart with his Creator.

The serenity was interrupted by a crackle of static.

“Wistill, we’re coming into position,” said the voice of Alloryio over his helmet intercom. Raille could not transmit, but he was receiving the other two ships communicating on an open channel.

“Copy, Callia Mae, same on our end.”

From the uppermost edge of his peripheral vision, Raille made out a small point of light. It descended, slowing, until it finally stopped, far away in front of him. The ship was too distant for him to identify her contours. Soon, a second point of light appeared from below, rising upwards and then slowing until it stopped close to the first. They seemed on top of each other, and he could not tell which ship was which.

“In position,” said Alloryio.

“Acknowledged. We are, too.”

“Preparing to open cargo bay doors.”

“Good. We’ll send over our team as soon as we have visual confirmation of the open interior.”

A long time passed with neither communication nor movement. Raille felt as though he were watching a theater piece, smears of blood and tears on his visor forming a sort of stage.

After minutes of silence, Wistill’s voice broke in. “Uh, Mae, what’s the problem there?”

“It’s the stupid computer,” said Alloryio angrily. “It won’t open the cargo bay doors. Keeps telling me there’s some kind of blockage. I’m going to perform a manual override. I stole Raille’s command codes long ago. Stand by.”

There was another long pause, and then a flash of light. It grew in intensity, silently but inexorably. After a moment it became so bright that Raille had to shut his eyes against it.

And then it was gone, and along with it the two blotches of light. Both ships had disappeared. Raille stared in disbelief, not understanding. Then he sighed and felt sorry for those men.

Time passed and Raille floated in space, thinking and speaking with his heart. Eventually, his suit began flashing red lights, warning him of low oxygen. He shut off the alarms and continued his peaceful preparation for eternity.

Soon the oxygen was going to run out entirely, he thought to himself, and the air in the suit would become supersaturated with carbon dioxide. He would slowly lose consciousness, and then he would die.

But he would die like a man.


Copyright © 2022 by Alcuin Fromm

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