In the Hole
by Rob Crandall
I’ve been in the hole now for twelve days. “The hole.” That’s what we call solitary confinement. I’m writing this down in my head, because my head is all I have.
Kimshi gives me my dinner through a slot in the door. I call him Kimshi in my head because I picture him being Oriental. Don’t ask me why. I just do.
Kimshi gives me dessert sometimes. I don’t think he’s supposed to, but he does. So I like him. Kimshi uses chopsticks to eat his dinner. That’s what I like to think anyway. He eats things like sushi and chop-suey.
I’m in here because I socked Ronny Hanson after he called me “Buddy.” I don’t like it when people call me “Buddy.” Don’t ask me why.
I hit Ronny more than once. I hit him until he didn’t move, and two guys in uniforms took him away on a stretcher. Ronny’s shirt was red when I got done with him.
Ronny is all right though. I guess. I don’t really like him, but I don’t hate him either, all the time. He tries. I try. We both try. I wonder if he will forgive me. I don’t much care, but really I do.
Ronny still thinks it’s the fifties. He rolls up the sleeves of his tee shirts and slicks back his hair. I secretly think he’s cool for doing that. I never cared much for my hair. Not enough to style it anyway.
I guess I’d rather be around all those guys I don’t really like, than be in here with my head. It’s strange not hearing people complain and curse. I say I hate that, but I’d rather have that than everyone be sappy and nice. Or too quiet. Like it is in here.
I bet Ronny looks even cooler with his black eye. So, I really did him a favor, the way I see it. Plus, I don’t want him calling me “Buddy” anymore. Ronny may have two black eyes. I bet he’s mad at me.
It’s the dark in here that I don’t like much. Not that I’m scared of it. Just that it makes my mind bigger. And sometimes I think there may be spiders or something.
Ronny once tore the legs off of a spider. I pretended to think it was funny, but really I hated it, and it made me hate Ronny.
I hate prison, but I also hated working at the factory making mufflers. It’s not much different really, except I guess the people here are meaner. And I don’t get to go home and drink a Coke and watch “Mayberry.” That’s the worst part.
I should have never assaulted Mike at the factory, but he made me mad. His laugh made me mad. Don’t ask me why. It just did. I wonder if he forgave me. They took Mike away on a stretcher too. They even covered up his face.
They tell you a lot about Jesus in prison. I like Jesus. His laugh is nice. In my head anyway.
One lady comes in and teaches about Jesus. She has big glasses and is kind of funny in a way that I really don’t understand but I like it. I bet she’s never assaulted anyone before. Lots of people are better than me.
She tells us to forgive each other and to read the Bible. It makes you sort of want to do both when she is there, but when she leaves, you don’t want to do either anymore.
Kimshi has read the whole Bible. That’s what I like to think. That’s why he gives me dessert sometimes. I think Kimshi also does crossword puzzles and wears glasses.
When I get out of prison, I’m going to buy the whole series of “Mayberry” and a case of Coke. I can’t wait for that. And maybe I’ll buy a dog. Ronny says dogs are good buddies, but I bet he is mean to his dog.
Maybe I’ll get a job at a different factory this time, and the people won’t be as bad. I sure will hate getting up early again though.
Maybe I’ll move out of state. Things seem better farther away. People might like me there. California always looks nice on TV. Or North Carolina. I think that’s where Mayberry is.
I don’t like not knowing what time it is in here either. Makes my head funny. Wish I had a watch with a light on it.
Dinner comes at 6:00 pm. That’s what I like to think. That’s when we always used to eat at home. Dad would get mad if we didn’t eat at 6:00 pm.
The Coke in the prison is watered down, but at least they have Coke. But in here all I get is water. I guess that’s so it makes it meaner or something. So you won’t sock guys next time.
When I get out of the hole I’ll probably be nicer. Oh... dinner’s here. Kimshi added a chocolate chip cookie. Kimshi’s nice.
I guess I’ll sleep after dinner. It’s quiet in the hole. Good for sleeping. And dreaming is better than thinking, most times.
Copyright © 2012 by Rob Crandall