Mother Hopper

by Lee Hart

“You are old, Mother Hopper,” the young man said.
“Your brain must be nothing but suet.
Yet you made that computer balance the books!
My gawd, how did you do it?”

“When I was a girl, computers were jerks.
It took talent to use them at all.
So I taught ’em a language and put ’em to work.
It came to be known as COBOL.”

“You’re a girl, Mother Hopper,” the young man said,
“And girls can’t do science or math.
Yet it is said you do sums in your head,
In hex-summa-decimal at that!”

“I taught math at Vassar, have a Yale Ph.D.,
I programmed computers for fun.
Oh, please! I have forty college degrees,
So don’t tell me women are dumb.”

“You are weak, Mother Hopper,” the young man said.
“Too small to enlist, plain to see.
Yet you get saluted by admirals and all!
Pray tell, how can that be?”

“A Navy career’s for the smart, not the strong;
Success follows rules tried and true:
Manage things but lead people (and don’t get it wrong);
Respect your superiors, care for your crew.”

“You are ill, Mother Hopper,” the young man said,
“And may not have longer to live.
But somehow you’ve won and got mighty deeds done.
What final advice can you give?”

“To summon my ghost, just say
‘We’ve always done it this way,’
And I’ll haunt you night and day.
Now be quiet, and be on your way!”

*
* *

[Author’s note] Grace Brewster Murray Hopper (1906-1992)

Grace Hopper was a pioneer in the development of computers. She indeed had forty college degrees and was an admiral in the U.S. Navy. She had a pirate flag hanging on her office wall.

A friend of mine actually met her. His father worked with her at the Naval Academy and introduced them one day. When she died, he told me about her, which inspired me to write this little tribute. The basic idea was borrowed from Lewis Carroll’s “You are Old, Father William.”

Grace Hopper quotes:

• You manage things; you lead people. We go overboard on management and forget about leadership.
• Leadership is a two-way street: loyalty up and loyalty down.
• Have respect for one’s superiors; care for one’s crew.
• If you do it once, it’s an accident. Do it twice, it’s a coincidence. So do it a third time and prove you were right!
• If you want my ghost, just say, “We’ve always done it that way,” and I will haunt you for 24 hours.
• The man who says it can’t be done should not interrupt the woman who is doing it.