Earthbound

Analog, Astounding and the rest —
if I looked up from the pages,
I saw the walls of my room expand
to the edges of the universe. Homework was delayed:
my hands were full, with a blaster
and a perspex-helmeted bikini girl.

Later, it didn’t bother me that
the Earth-women weren’t interested.
There were always grateful Martian princesses.
My jobs were crap, but temporary:
My prospects were faster than light.

What happened? I don’t recognise this planet.
Most of my life is red-shift Doppler.
Why, of all places, did I land here?