Rip Tides of the Mind

Waking up between empty sheets is like air kissing sand,
a lonely feeling that doesn’t end well for anyone.
Cracked mirror reflections show eyes red from tears;
blood shows anger from punching my reflection within.

I’m tired of protecting myself when my left chest has a wall,
or journaling thoughts that will never be spoken.
I’m tired of showing a smile when I’m sad or angry.
No one understands pain like a depressed soul.

Snide remarks about life are not appreciated
especially from a family who ignores me and punches me.
He’s dead, okay? Why do you still blame me for his suicide?
Too bad the bridge wasn’t burned before he jumped.

Home will never be where my heart is again,
not after this. Nightmares recur again and again,
it’s a life in dream, and that moment is my theater.
Every time I see splashing water, I shiver.
I will never swim again.