Even children know the words spoken when men landed on the moon and what caused them. That famous sentence: “One small step for a man, one... what the hell is that?”
Neil Armstrong had not expected to see a small Chinese woman with an enigmatic grin. Nor had he expected to see her holding a rabbit. However what truly baffled everyone was her standing in the vacuum of space wearing a red silk gown without a space suit.
The explanation also satisfied few. Essentially the story is as follows.
* * *
Neil couldn’t figure it out. Of all the things he might have expected, even dying here, none could have prepared him for this. He wondered how he was going to communicate with her when he noticed her stroking her rabbit. Then suddenly:
“I am Chang E Empress of the Moon. Welcome...” She stroked the bunny again, “...
Neil: “How are you doing this, and how do you know my name?”
She rolled her eyes “The rabbit taught me of course. He is a wise spirit who guards the Moon or something like that. “
“Or something like that?”
“How the Hell should I know. When I came here he was here. When I want to know something I stroke him, and then if he wishes I get the information. It’s been good enough so far. “
“How did you get here?”
“I told you I’m Chang E, or have you mortals forgotten?”
Neil looked at her “Hold on a second.”
“I’ve been here thousands of years, a second is no problem” so she walked off with her rabbit and Neil contacted Earth.
* * *
Buzz: “Okay they got a mythology guy, but it doesn’t make any sense. They say in your myth there were ten suns in the sky, then your husband killed nine of them. Later you were exiled from the heavens, but to return...”
“That’s crap. I can’t believe they garbled the thing that bad,” she said, stroking her bunny.
Buzz: “I agree. What are you then? An alien machine or something? What’s the purpose of pretending to be this mythological being?”
She sighed, “I don’t know what ‘alien machine’ even is supposed to mean.” She stroked the bunny. “Oh that, I haven’t seen any of them for centuries. No, what I meant is, my story was nothing like that.”
Neil: “What was your story?”
She sighed,“This will take a bit, and I imagine you boys wanted to do other things”
Buzz: “We’ve got time, explain.”“Very well. My husband was named Yi, and he lived as a kind of official assassin. When the emperor wanted someone killed, my husband killed him. Not a great life, but as the Emperor’s niece I had to marry someone of value to him. Anyway my uncle died before he could name his heir. All ten of his sons had been losers, but one of them was close to my husband. So my husband killed the other nine for him. He thought that would get him in good with the new administration.”
Neil: “Did it?”
“Far from it. The new emperor figured having the guy who killed his brothers around was bad for his image. So we got the boot, and I do mean we, as that’s what really ticked me off. My idiot husband’s actions had nothing to do with me, I even offered to kill him if the new emperor would let me stay.”
“Man what a dragon lady,” Buzz muttered.
“He kills nine people for power; he’s a hero. I just offer to kill one monster and I’m a dragon lady. Men!” Then she continued: “So anyway we wandered around for a few years living little better than nomads, with me wanting to ditch him if I could. Then we find this guy selling a potion that he says will give us immortality and the ability to fly. I’m thinking the guy’s a nut, but my husband gives him my last jewel and...”
Neil: “You were living in poverty, but you had jewels?
“My grandmother gave it to me; it was an heirloom. As far as I was concerned they’d have to pry it off my cold, dead hand. To my annoyance I learned my husband’s cold hard fist worked just as well.” She stroked the bunny. “He told me the next day we’d take the potion and use it to return to the palace. I figured it was a scam, so I tested it that night. I figured in the morning I could then laugh at him knowingly or get the hell away from him if it was real.”
Neil: “And it was real?”
“No, I died in ancient China,” she said sarcastically. “Of course it was real. So I used it to fly to the mountain palace of my brother who was now emperor. See, by this time my cousin had been overthrown by my brother, which was bad luck for me.”
Buzz: “Why?”
“Because my brother hated me for accidentally poisoning his wife. Which is stupid as she came nowhere near dying from that. I meant the poison to be enough to just put the dog out of his misery. Why the dumb chick drank from a dog bowl is beyond me. Besides, he beheaded her later for infidelity.” She seemed ready conclude. “So, in conclusion, his guards tried to kill me when I showed up. So I drank the rest of the potion and flew to the Moon.”
Buzz: “That doesn’t explain anything. How can you survive in the vacuum of space?”
“I’m immortal, half-wit. That means I can’t die.”
“Fine, how does the potion work?” he asked. Neil also seemed curious.
She stroked the bunny and became quiet. Then she looked annoyed. “Either he doesn’t know or he doesn’t want to tell me.”
Buzz had become annoyed. “We should get her on Earth and test her. There has to be a better explanation than this.”
To their surprise she agreed. “I’m sick of this stupid place, and I’d love to be tested. Maybe that will show the current Emperor my value.”
Neil looked at her. “Emperor? I guess I figured with your rabbit you’d know about the revolutions.”
She stroked it some more and grew silent.
Then Neil looked at Buzz. “I don’t see how we’ll fit her in, do you?”
“She uses no air and as far as I can tell she has almost no mass. “
Neil: “I just mean actual room.” They thought on this then she spoke up.
In a quiet voice she said, “I’ll just replace Michael, the hare will show me how to pilot you home.”
“You really think we’d let you...”
She looked tired now. “It’s what has to happen, Michael’s dead. The rabbit will make it where I can can help get you home anyway.” Then she looked imperious. “I rule here, so I make the decisions.”
They looked horrified and angered: “You bitch! You killed Michael?”
“I didn’t kill anyone. Michael may have just died and the rabbit informed me of the need to save you.”
Neil: “I doubt it.”
“Me too, but I don’t know the rabbit well enough to know if he killed him.” She seemed to have lost her sarcastic demeanor. She almost looked like the serene woman he first saw on the moon. “I’m sorry about this. I’m also sorry you can’t ever return to the Moon.”
* * *
Epilogue
On the way back she told them what a dump the Moon was and how they wouldn’t miss it. She was obviously trying to be comforting, but it did not help. It also did not help that after years of tests nothing conclusive about her showed up. For all intents and purposes she had just been an ordinary Chinese woman in her late 20s and recent tests at her home in Taipei confirm the exact same thing. Her blood contained some unusual cells, but they should not have allowed for life in a vacuum or immortality.
The rabbit never showed up on Earth and many believe it to be a hoax. Indeed one station ran “The Great Moon Rabbit Hoax” which tried to claim there was never a rabbit on the Moon and that Chang is just an alien. One such conspiracy theorist was recently punched out by Buzz for saying “You faked that footage of the bunny didn’t you?”
As for returning to the Moon she was correct, although not in the way it sounded. NASA decided Chang had been all the discovery they needed from the Moon. They put huge funding into a trip to Mars, which failed, killing all occupants. Soon after the nations pledged to end any efforts at interplanetary flight until the issues of the Moon landing had been resolved. The Chinese refused, saying all the incidents had been capitalist trickery and that Chang herself had been a creation of the Taiwanese rebel province. Nevertheless, as of yet the Chinese have not actually sent anyone to the Moon or any other world.
The incident also had strong affects on religions. The Vatican had no official position, but privately said that she could easily be worked into Christianity. Saints sometimes had bodies preserved for centuries, and there was some reason to believe places could have Guardian Angels over them. That she did not seem especially angelic or saintly had been a slight problem, but not insurmountable.
The Islamic world was more divided. One popular notion amongst them is she is a somewhat less malign variant of jinn, but that she should be returned to the Moon to avoid further misfortune. The more extreme among Muslims and Christians go further thinking she is an outright evil spirit. However thus far efforts to assassinate her have all failed, due to her being immortal and indestructible. As a few of those around her have died in these attempts her whereabouts have been made a secret.
Her appearance caused the most movement in Chinese folk religion and Taoism. Taoism had been on the verge of extinction in mainland China, but her appearance excited interest in Chinese mythology, as it had apparently been proven to be true. Protesters of the Vietnam War and the Counterculture especially got heavily into Taoism, even though technically it had began well after her. Chinese folk belief grew resurgent in much of Southeast Asia and Taiwan. Chang’s home, before she was moved to an undisclosed location, became a pilgrimage site to many.
In the end the Moon landing created a world none would expect. An incident where science all but confirmed magic. Where a Chinese claim to the Moon would anger no nation more than China itself. A strange contradictory world, but perhaps that’s what it always had been.
Copyright © 2003 by Thomas R.