My Travels Through Texas

by Thomas Lee Joseph Smith

Episode 3: Leaving San Antonio

conclusion

I bought some knives while we were visiting San Antonio. I bought a nice folding knife and a set of five throwing knives. I tried to sneak them past security at the airport. If you’re thinking about doing the same thing, don’t!

The larger knife I put it in a box and wrapped in aluminum foil. I knew that would work. The Internet said it would work. I looked at it and said, “That’ll work.” For the five throwing knives I placed them around in a circle and placed a foil-covered paper plate in the center.

We took off our shoes. We passed through the little gate. My wife and I were waiting for our luggage to slip through. A red light came on. Ten security agents were called over to our machine. I was asked to come to the screen and explain things.

I was amazed at how clearly everything was revealed by their machine. This was a great machine! I could see individual socks. I could tell if they were clean or dirty! I could see my September issue of Big Jugs magazine. I could see empty candy wrappers and an apple core. I could see me sitting in a prison cell.

“What’s this?” one of the large officers asked. He was pointing at the disk surrounded by five obvious knives.

“That’s a wind chime,” I said.

“And this?” he asked. It was the larger knife. A child could have told them it was a knife. Looking right through the suitcase one could plainly see a big knife.

It was time to apply all I’d learned by attending a conference with 600 microbiologists. In a very menacing voice I said. “In my wife’s suitcase... there... are... germs.”

The officers drew their guns and headed in the direction of my spouse.

To Challenge 432...