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Rod, Rex and Rhoda

by Bob Brill

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After Rod gets partially blended with his dog, Rex, as the result of a transporter malfunction, he learns that transporters can be misused to commit murder, produce hybrid beings and create human clones. When the beautiful Rhoda Vane entices Rod to help her expose the giant Rumex Pharmaceutical Corporation, Rod, Rex and Rhoda get mixed up in a transporter-load of trouble. In the process they become bonded in more ways than one.

Unwelcome Visitors


“Rex, let me explain something to you. Have you noticed that we’re living with a lot of people and animals? Every one of them has a job. The animals are all working animals. Did you see the elephant dance? That’s her job. Did you enjoy watching the horses prancing in a circle? The pretty lady standing on the horse’s back? People come and pay money to watch. That’s how all these good folks and their animals get enough money to buy food. If we want to stay on here, we all have work to do.”

I’m sitting on a truncated cone watching Laszlo and the other acrobats practicing their teeterboard act. They’re building a four-man-high. Rex sits at my feet, looking at me. I think he gets it.

“Rex, you are a very smart pug. You know that, don’t you?”

Rex barks in affirmation and paws the ground.

“Rex, my friend,” I hold up one finger. “How many fingers am I showing you?”

Rex barks once.

“Good job, Rex.” I hold up two fingers. “How many fingers now?”

He barks twice.

“Wonderful.” Our practice sessions begin. Before the day is out he’s doing simple sums. Two days later he is solving elementary algebra problems like 3x - 6 = 0. I bring him to Mr. Jellicoe and we strut our stuff.

“Very commendable, Roderick. You have a clever dog. But it won’t do as an act. Our audiences are not as smart as your dog. They’ll be bored with such intellectual tricks. Now if Rex could dance. If you could get him to jump through a flaming hoop. That would be more like it. Best of all train him to stand on the end of the teeterboard. You stomp on the other end, he somersaults into Rhoda’s arms. We’ll provide wonderful costumes for you and Rhoda. And Rex too.”

“I see your point, Mr. Jellicoe. Come on, Rex. We’ve got work to do.”

Laszlo helps us with the teeterboard. “We show him a little at a time,” says Laszlo. With Rex on the teeterboard Laszlo steps gently on the other end. Rex bounces up a few inches, comes down on the board. “Now you try it,” Laszlo says.

I’m not used to the board. I overdo it. Rex flies up about a foot, comes down and runs off the board, turning to bark at me and give me a scalding look that says, “Don’t ever do that again.”

But Rex is game. He returns to the board. He has seen the teeterboard act, seen Laszlo bounce high in the air, somersault and end up standing on Kalman’s shoulders to become the top man in the four-man-high. He knows what’s coming and he wants to try it, to fly through the air into Rhoda’s arms.

“Okay,” I say, “tomorrow we teach you to dance.”

Rex runs in circles to express his delight.

We come back to our tiny tent laughing, my arm around Rhoda’s shoulder, her arm about my waist, Rex running in little circles around us. And there they are, waiting for us outside the tent, two men in business suits, fedoras at a rakish angle, hands in pockets.

“Look, Rhoda, we have visitors.”

“Rumex thugs,” she says.

“Oh, you think?”

“Good evening, Dr. Blass. Good evening, Ms. Vane.” With practiced nonchalance they draw their guns. “We’re here to escort you home.”


Proceed to Chapter 20...

Copyright © 2010 by Bob Brill

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