Bewildering Stories

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Part 2

C.C. Cheez


"'Cause," Pythagoras explained.

"'Cause what?" Euclid asked.

Pythagoras groaned.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a bunch of aliens appeared. They looked like watermelons.

"Whoa...what the--?"

"Precisely," someone said.


Out in the middle of nowhere-space, the Empire-Veggie was expanding. Its membrane tightened as its insides swelled to the limit. It was going to burst any time now, and Bob Meklo wasn't prepared to let that happen.

"Aye, curd," he said, and corrected himself: "Eh, crud."

"What the--?" someone said.

"Par soy is lay," Bob said, and corrected himself: "Precisely."

"Look, you," the voice said. "You're not supposed to be here."

"Dab buggy," Bob said, and corrected himself: "Dagnabit." And corrected himself: "Doggone it." And corrected himself: "Eh, crud."

The voice didn't say anything.

"Watt yay won?" Bob said, and corrected himself: "What--"

"Silence, imbecile!" the voice said, and Bob turned around.

"Wok duh--" and forgot to correct himself.

"Holly spit!" he said.

It had returned.


"So that's the reason why we're here," Pythagoras said to Euclid. "We have to get away from the Empire-Veggie. They're oppressing us."

"What's that?" Euclid asked.

And suddenly, a radiant glow appeared beyond the horizon, and something came crashing down.

To be continued...

Copyright 2002 by C.C. Cheez.